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Weathering the Storm

By Karen Claxton, MBA, CPCS, CPMSM, FMSP

On Thursday, Oct. 3, I showered at the Denver Hyatt Regency and used the nice robe and bedroom slippers made available to me. I had slept in a cool room and was able to turn on lights without thinking about it. I checked email while I drank my morning coffee.

On Friday, Oct. 4, at home, I used baby wipes to clean off in the dark. There was no coffee and no internet to check my email. Two weeks after the storm, we along with over 8,000 other families still didn’t have electricity.

Amongst the destruction and scarceness, there were many stories of people being kind, helping their neighbors, and supporting each other. We had an employee who walked seven miles with her grandchildren to get to our hospital where she knew she would have support. A doctor, unable to drive due to impassable roads, started walking to the hospital for his shift before someone picked him up and drove him the rest of the way. Another employee worked all day Friday after the storm, smiling and offering her usual “have a blessed day” to everyone she encountered. It wasn’t until the end of the day that she finally told someone a fallen tree came through her house, and they didn’t have insurance. Our employees kept showing up to work despite the hardships and clean ups at home. They kept taking care of patients, smiling, and making the best of a difficult situation. As I watched my co-workers and heard these stories, I thought of one word — resilience. 

There are several definitions for resilience, but one in particular describes our community: “The ability to successfully adapt to stressors, maintaining psychological well-being in the face of adversity. It’s the ability to ‘bounce back’ from difficult experiences” (US Department of State). I would add that it is the ability to remain positive during a difficult situation. A resilient person has developed coping skills and uses those skills and inner strength to respond to difficult situations. They face issues instead of avoiding them or focusing on the negative (Cherry, 2023).

There are different types of resilience — physical, mental, emotional, and social (Cherry, 2023). Mental resilience is the capability to handle change and uncertainty. These are the people who use mental strength to remain calm during a crisis and can pivot when needed. Mental strength is understanding your emotions, appropriately coping with your negative emotions, and knowing when to engage with your emotions and when to take a cooling off period to reflect. Mental strength involves thinking, feeling, and doing. It is recognizing illogical thoughts and replacing them with more realistic thoughts. Mental strength does not mean denying emotions or not asking for help. It is taking effective action (Morin, 2020).

Emotional resilience is being able to control emotions under pressure. It is self-awareness as it pertains to understanding your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, and actions and being able to manage them during difficult times. It is understanding that negative experiences and emotions aren’t persistent. It is not allowing your emotions to dictate your thoughts and behaviors.

Lack of resilience leads a person to feel overwhelmed by negative experiences. They tend to dwell on issues and engage in unhealthy coping behaviors. They don’t let things go and move on, which leads to brooding. They are slower to recover from setbacks and disappointments. How important is resilience? It is crucial for growth and success. It is key to gracefully bouncing back from negative experiences (Leddy, 2023).

Some people seem to be more naturally resilient. My mom is a good example of a naturally resilient person. At the age of 62, she found herself divorced and displaced. She had been a stay-at-home mom for most of her life. She suddenly found herself with no income and no health insurance. Our family was in crisis, but she was the strongest one of us all. She kept her faith, addressed each issue as it came up, and she moved forward. We never once heard her say, “Why me?” She was never bitter. I asked her one day how she could remain so positive, and she said, “These things happen in life, and you just have to go on.”

Go on she did. She built an independent and fulfilling life. She continues to amaze us all to this day, and she has been the best example of resilience.

What if you are not naturally resilient? What if you tend to dwell on negative aspects and feel unable to replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones? You aren’t destined to always be negative and slow to bounce back. There are ways to improve resilience. Mayo Clinic offers the following tips to build resilience and withstand hardships with a more positive attitude:

1. Stay connected. Build a network of healthy support with friends and family — people who will provide support but also give you a gentle nudge when needed. Volunteering is also a great way to focus on others instead of your current situation. Support groups are also a good resource.
2. Make each day count. Do something each day that reminds you of your purpose and gives you a sense of success. Set goals that are attainable to give you something to work toward. Make time for reflection at the end of each day.
3. Learn from your mistakes and wins. When things seem impossible, take time to think about past difficulties that you made it through. Think about positive events that have happened in your life. You may even want to keep a journal to document patterns of thoughts and behaviors to learn from in future hard times.
4. Stay hopeful. No one can change the past, but we can look forward. Being open to change is the first step. Openness makes it easier to adapt and face new challenges more positively. Adam Grant recently posted the following message on LinkedIn: “The attitude that helps most with intense stress is not mindfulness. It’s hope. In hard times, it’s overwhelming to live only in the present. What brings strength is anticipating a brighter future. Resilience lies in remembering that today’s burdens may be lighter tomorrow.”
5. Practice self-compassion. Take care of your own needs and feelings. Make time for activities and hobbies you like and make you feel good. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Try activities that can help you relax, like prayer, meditation, yoga, or even just deep breathing.
6. Take action. Problems don’t go away by ignoring them. Figure out a plan and take action. It is not always easy or quick, but know that your life and resilience can improve if you work at it.

In addition to the above steps, Cornell Health suggests cultivating a “growth mindset”. What is a growth mindset? It is the opposite of a “fixed mindset”. A growth mindset expects to learn from trials and use them to increase understanding and skills. A few suggestions to developing a growth mindset:

1. Train your brain to be open and positive.
2. Prioritize learning over approval and the process over the end result.
3. View hardships and trials as opportunities to grow and learn new things.
4. Embrace your imperfections.
5. Give yourself credit for effort.
6. Avoid comparing yourself to others — we all have different strengths and weaknesses.

Building resilience takes time and effort. If you are not making progress with the above steps or you are feeling completely overwhelmed, I encourage you to contact a professional. Seeking help is not a weakness; it can be the first step in addressing problems and building resilience.

This is my last article as the editor for Gateway, and I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you to everyone who has contributed articles and participated in The Tomorrow’s MSP® Podcast episodes. Thank you for sharing your ideas and experiences with our members.  A huge thank you to NAMSS Staff members Morgan Manghera and Mary Bandy for their hard work behind the scenes to ensure articles are grammatically correct and my podcast bloopers are edited out!

Sources:

https://2009-2017.state.gov/m/med/dsmp/c44950.htm#:~:text=Resilience%20refers%20to%20the%20ability,have%20or%20don't%20have.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-resilience-2795059#:~:text=What%20are%20the%20four%20types,emotional%20resilience%2C%20and%20social%20resilience.

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-difference-between-mental-strength-and-mental-health-5078284

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7250880766023233536/

https://health.cornell.edu/resources/health-topics/building-resilience

https://medium.com/@tomleddy/resilience-is-key-for-growth-and-success-9cdee5c5b5e7#:~:text=Resilience%20is%20the%20key%20for,trauma%20survivor%20to%20develop%20them.